Listen to the Radio
by DigMeAGarden
Summary: This story picks up in game after the battle with Wilhelm. Following the basic storyline of the game but certain elements and events have changed to put Maya and Lilith closer together. Can the two Sirens learn to love each other? Can they become more or will it end in flames? Maya/Lilith
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Borderlands affiliated content or songs mentioned on the radio. The characters and content belong to their rightful owners.**

"Thank you for listening to WPND: Pandora's Best and Only Radio Station. We're gonna start this next hour out with a lil somethin that we feel speaks for itself here on Pandora."

**Drain the Blood: The Distillers**

Maya's eyes opened and looked at the alarm clock on the desk. She let it play. It had just been yesterday that she had returned with the Hyperion core but she hadn't delivered it yet. She needed to talk to Roland first, get a second opinion. Wilhelm had done a number on her, but she'd liked it. Her body ached and she could feel her sore muscles straining to sit up. It was worth it, she was the new Siren in town and she felt that she had something to prove to the older vault hunters.

Older, heh, only 'cause they had been there longer. She had come to Pandora looking for answers and as she had hoped, found another Siren. However, this Siren was only a young woman (younger than herself) who had come here looking for the same thing. Answers. No one had any.

Getting up Maya hit the alarm clock and threw on some clothes. It was tight living quarters in Sanctuary, the headquarters of the Crimson Raiders had luckily had enough space for each of them to have their own room. Wandering down the hall she heard a meeting had already begun to take place.

"I'm telling you, I don't care how much juice the old core has. We can't risk it!" it was Roland's voice.

"But if it works our shields would triple in strength!"

Maya rounded the corner and took her place at the table with the others. A large map of Pandora sprawled out and a box of stale pizza sat in the middle.

"If shit goes down we need an escape plan" Lilith added leaning forward from her place next to Roland, "we've been led into one trap after another by Hyperion and we've been lucky, but we are dealing with more than just our own lives with this one."

"Scooter thinks we should just do it!" Axton quipped shrugging his shoulders and stuffing a piece of cold pizza in his mouth, "he said it doesn't look like anything unusual, it doesn't look tampered with, just a good ol' fashion energy core. I mean, even if our shields are down for a second do you really think Jack will be THAT ready?"

Roland ran his hand along his jawline deep in thought, "Mmm I still don't like it."

There was a silence. "Just tell me what to do with it and it'll get done"

"Heyyyy Maya! Way to really kick some ASS out there yesterday!" Salvador chimed, strategy hadn't really ever been his thing.

"Yeah way to show me up man" Lilith had been top Siren, well only Siren, 'till Maya showed up. But Lilith had been nothing but friendly toward Maya, perhaps it was seeing someone who shared the tattoos. All Maya knew was that she enjoyed having another Siren to share the burden with, someone who knew what it felt like to have that kind of energy in your control and what it was like to deal with people who were...well everyone else.

Maya smirked at Lilith "Well someone's got to put you in your place!" she gave the other girl a teasing laugh. She was getting impatient. If she wanted to sit here and flirt with Lilith she sure wouldn't do it in front of the guys, they needed to make a decision about this thing right now.

Wait. Flirt with Lilith?

"Am I taking the damn thing to Scooter or not?"

"Take it." Roland snapped out of his thoughts, "Take it and we will deal with the consequences if something happens."

Lilith stood up, "Just like that? MAN you're thick!" She let out a frustrated breath.

Maya's eyes flicked between Roland and Lilith as she stormed out. They were an odd couple and really hard to read. "I'll get right on that then..." She slipped out of the room leaving the guys to deal with that stew themselves. She hadn't taken a shower since her fight with Windhelm and damn it if she was going into another potential fight with old fight grime on her!

Upon returning to her room Maya found Lilith had beaten her there. The Firehawk was sitting on top of the Hyperion core in the corner of her room.

"You can't be serious Maya."

"I don't know what will happen and neither do you. What if nothing happens!" Maya sat down on the bed with her legs folded under her.

"Can we really take that risk? People could get hurt, people could get KILLED." was Lilith pleading with her?

"So do we wait until the old core runs out, our shields go down and Jack makes his carefully planned move? You know he will have something planned when that happens. If we put it in now we spoil that plan before it even gets made. Lilith, the people in Sanctuary are in danger everyday. We either take that risk today, or we wait for the inevitable" Maya took a deep breath.

Lilith's eyes were searching hers trying to make sense of the situation, "You are the closest thing I have to any sort of family, I just want you to make the right decision."

"But Roland..." Maya began.

"Roland can't tell his head from his ass sometimes!" Lilith interrupted her and began pacing in front of the bed. "And I'll be honest with you, things haven't really been great with him since he got back."

"Lil I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"I know you didn't, I shouldn't have even said anything" Lilith stopped her pacing and let out a frustrated groan "Whatever, get that thing to the power station and just do it."

Lilith left with a slam and Maya was left in her room with words echoing in her ears. Leaving her towel on the bed Maya reflected as she dressed. _Family? I guess she would be the closest thing to family I have too but we've never really talked about our pasts. I guess if she and Roland aren't getting along it would explain her irritability lately._

Maya picked up the core and slung it under her arm. _Here we go! This is either a really good idea. Or a really bad one._


	2. Chapter 2

_Alright, I hope everyone is enjoying the radio songs as the chapter headings. It was just an idea I had on a whim to give a little more substance to the story. If it is too cheesy let me know. I've been trying to pick songs that aren't extremely cliche and that would fit in with the Borderlands setting. This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction so any reviews would help a ton! Thanks for reading!_

"**Up From the Ashes": The Letter Black**

Maya heaved the old core out of its socket. _Here we go, the moment of truth._ She picked up the new core, it was surprisingly light compared to the old one. The sound of the shields retreating echoed off of canyon walls. She placed the new core into the socket and immediately it started to spin. _Ha ha! Job well done! No explosion! The shields will be back up in a few minutes and Sanctuary will be safe._ Maya sauntered down the steps of the power plant situated just outside the city.

Her victory walk lasted about 35 seconds when she heard the first explosion rock the city. _Shit,_ she took off in a full sprint. The city was in full panic. The shots were coming from the Hyperion satellite that constantly hovered over head. Houses exploded, concrete pieces and metal shrapnel rained down on her. A large piece of concrete came bursting through a wall to Maya's right, without stopping she threw a phaselock at it. She was almost to the center of town when Lilith's voice came over the ECHO communicator.

"Guys, I have a really bad idea. Scooter! Get Sanctuary off the ground! Roland get me as much Eridium as you can find!"

Maya came to a screeching halt in front of Scooter "What can I do to help!?" She was screaming to be heard over the chaos erupting around them. This had been a mistake Lilith had been right.

"Go and flip the switch on the ignition primer!" Scooter's hands were frantically working inside a control box. This city wasn't ready to fly, it was going to take a miracle.

Maya ran across the town square which had opened up to reveal a large power center, the catalyst needed to make them air born. As she passed the huge pillar she was surprised to see Lilith on the other side, hands to the wall pouring all she had into the power core. She got to the box that held the ignition switch and flipped it.

"Now the other switch! Go!" Scooter yelled across the square.

As Maya skidded over and flipped the second switch an explosion hit close by, _the HQ!_ Taking off she rounded the corner and sprinted into the doorway of the Crimson HQ. "Roland!? Roland! Where are you!" She yelled.

"I'm pinned! You have to get the Eridium to Lilith!" his voice rang out from upstairs. Maya sprinted up the steps into a room full of rubble. There Roland lay on the floor half covered in concrete and iron rebar. "Get the Eridium! Take everything you can carry! Leave me!"

It took Maya a second to react to his command. He was clearly crushed. She snapped out of it and started filling her arms with the Eridium that lay scattered on the floor.

"GO!" Roland yelled, "She needs it now!"

She was frantic. She wanted to help more! She was a Siren goddammit!

She arrived at Lilith's side, "Good you're here! I've never used this much before, you might want to hold onto somethin!" Lilith said taking the crystals from her arms. She was drained it was clear but as each piece of Eridium absorbed into her system her skin began to glow, her tattoos intensified, her eyes glowed fire. "Here goes nothin!"

A bright flash blocked Mayas vision and her skin began to tingle. Then it began to burn, oh gods did it burn. It was like nothing she had ever felt. Her skin was cracking away...then Maya found herself in the desert. Her skin was fine, the burning was gone but she wasn't in Sanctuary anymore. In the distance the city rose into the air.

"No! No no no!" Her voice sounded hoarse as she sprinted toward the floating city. They were going to leave her!

"Sorry kid! That was an accident! Hit it Scooter!" Lilith's voice came over the ECHO and with a crack the city was gone.

_She left me...She fucking left me and phased the city to gods know where..._ Maya stood staring at where the city had been, a sinking feeling overcoming her. _Sorry kid. _Thats what she had said. The monks at the abbey had called her a child. Rage boiled up in Maya, "Fuck You! Fuck you Lilith!" she yelled into the open air, her voice cracking, tears welling in her eyes. "So much for family..."

...

"_I know you have no reason to trust me right now"_ a voice came into her head, the AI that had helped them after the train crash,_"But I have reason to believe that Lilith phased your city to the Fridge. Go, you might find it there" _What was it talking about? Trust? It was true they had blindly followed it's advice right from the get go but they had had no other choice.

"I love the way you just up and trusted Angel. It ever occurred to you that she was working with me did it?" Jack's voice now came through the ECHO, "I did the same thing to the last four vault hunters but I'll be entirely honest with you. Tricking you guys was way funnier."

There it was, the AI was working with Jack. It had helped him set the attack on Sanctuary and was the reason for this whole mess. How could they have been so stupid! It wanted her to go to the Fridge? Gah! Fuck! Here she was again! This thing had just betrayed her but still seemed to want to help and again she was in a situation where she could do nothing but listen. It's not like she had any clue as to where to start looking for Sanctuary herself and it wasn't an option to stay out in the wastes forever. Nothing could survive out here.

...And then there was Lilith. Maya was fuming, she was going to find Sanctuary and kill her. _KID! I am no CHILD...I was so stupid to fall for that family bullshit. Fool me once, the monks had done that. Fool me twice..._ She began walking along the only road that led out of Sanctuary. She did not give a rat's ass about Jack and how fun he thought torturing them was, she could handle any amount of his pointless rambling. But this personal betrayal, this exploitation of her weakness it was something else entirely.

Skags crawled out of their holes in hopes of finding a meal in the lone vault hunter. Maya shot each and everyone. She had never been so angry, not since...not since Athenas.

...

Maya found a catch-a-ride station not far outside of where Sanctuary used to sit. She would get to through the Fridge and find a fast travel station and be back in town quick fast and in a hurry. Then she'd take care of Lilith. She hopped into the car and sped off.

As she made her way into the Fridge the temperature dropped considerably. She was approaching what looked like a large encampment or mining operation. She wasn't prepared for these temperatures and she wasn't going to be able to drive through if the place was crawling with Rats. She slowed her car and parked it behind a large hunk of ice in the landscape. If she was lucky she could sneak through undetected.

* * *

Lilith's body felt as if it were ripping apart, but she kept her hands flat to the hulking power core. _Oh this was such a bad idea!_ It was going to tear her to shreds. Teeth clenched she let out a pained squeak and it was over, she was released and stumbled backwards. Her vision was blurry and her body buzzed with all the Eridium left in her system. Sitting down where she had been standing she buried her face in her knees. _Breath Lilith, you just did some amazing shit back there. I wonder where Maya ended up...I hope she's safe. _She hadn't intended on sending the other Siren away she had meant to grab a hold of her and tap her for additional energy but her plan had backfired.

"Common Lilly" Scooter's voice came into her buzzing ears, "lets get you inside...you done good." He helped her up and held her arm as they limped slowly towards the Crimson HQ.

All other thoughts left her when she saw Roland buried in rubble, his legs crushed. "Roland! Oh gods is anything broken under there?" she began heaving rocks off of him.

"I don't think so..." Roland said trying to pull himself out and failing.

"Hey! Can I get a little help up here!?" Lilith called down the stairs.

Mordecai came bounding up the steps "Man Roland you just can't stay out of trouble for a second can you?"

Lilith continued pulling the chunks of concrete away as Mordecai and Scooter lifted Roland out of the heap. Helping him to his room Lilith grabbed the med kit and sat on the bed beside him, "If you take off your pants I'll be able to see the damage better you know." she chided.

"Yup sure thing..." Roland winced as he pulled one leg out then the other. His left foot was crushed, clearly broken. Lilith winced, his legs were ok...if ok meant technically functional...they were torn, bleeding and bruised all over. Oh wait, the finale was just starting...

"Holy shit! Roland I'm going to go get Tannis and Zed, this is beyond my realm of medical knowledge. I'm not that kind of doctor." a piece of rebar had impaled his right calf from the top down. It would have to be removed and she was in no state to attempt to deal with something that technical. Her hands were shaking from the Eridium and Roland the soldier he was didn't miss a thing.

"I know you saved our asses back there but you need to stop that stuff..." Roland grabbed her wrist before she could get up.

"You're hurt, we can talk about this later."

"No. Now. Lilith you can't keep taking that stuff. I won't let you do this to yourself."

"What! What am I doing? You don't even know! No one knows what this stuff is or what it does. All I know is that I couldn't have gotten us out of there without it. It gives me...power"

"To much power. Lilith you can't control yourself. You said before all that crap went down with the Bloodshots, before they got me, you told me you'd slow it down...and you lied."

Lilith was silent. She had broken her promise. She had said all that stuff to keep him from leaving but all she had done was postponed it. If he just understood what it felt like to have that kind of power. What it felt like when the crystal gave its energy to her. It was like everything was connected and she could feel all the energy around her swell. Sure she had meant it when she said it but it was harder to give up than Roland could understand. When he had gotten back and discovered that Lilith had actually begun to use more he had exploded. But no one can stop a Siren, she took what she wanted and no one could do anything about it.

So here it was the culmination of all her mistakes, all her weakness.

"I can't be with you Lilith. You are a different person than the one I came to Pandora with..." he released his hold on her wrist.

She couldn't say she hadn't really seen this coming, but it still hurt. "I'm really not! I'm still Lilith, the one and only!" This was totally killing her high..._Gods that was a selfish thought. _The tears were coming, she blinked and tried to hide them.

"You don't love me Lilith. You love Eridium."

_If you love Eridium so much why don't you just marry it!_ Thats what he was saying wasn't it? Well, she already was. She was in deep and if she was honest with herself she didn't really want to dig herself out. She didn't love him anymore...she served another mistress now.

Silently she stood up, at the door she paused without looking back, "I'm going to get Tannis and Zed." and she left.

* * *

Maya had made it through the mining operation undetected. Her body was practically numb from the cold, her reflexes were slow.

_Hey can you hear me? _It was that AI again._ Listen Sanctuary has been taken off the fast travel network we are going to need to reestablish a new fast travel station to get it back on. _And by we you mean me...an Eridium extraction plant huh? Maya was beginning to have a plan of her own.

Peeking over a cliff to look into the valley beneath her lay the entrance to the extraction plant, it was heavily guarded by Hyperion mechs. _Oh screw that!_ Double checking her ammo reaffirmed her justification for stealth. She had almost nothing left. Guns blazing wasn't going to be a smart move here.

It looked like she could just stick to the rocky cliffs for most of the way. She'd see if she could snag a beacon for that AI's plan.

...

She got it! She'd awoken a giant angry Thresher and caused all hell to break loose. But at least all the mechs were now so distracted with the raging insect that none of them saw her sneak away with the beacon.

_You've got the beacon? Good. Head to the town of Overlook, we can set it up there and synchronize it to the fast travel network. _Jeez this "we" thing was getting ridiculous.

Maya came to a storage container on the outskirts of the extraction plant, one of the doors was left ajar and she could see a purple glow deep within. _Jack pot! Just what I was looking for._ She slipped inside, there was enough Eridium in here to supply a small army. She had seen what it did to Lilith, why couldn't it do the same for her? Maya stuffed her pockets with as much as she could fit and slipped out of the container. _Fight fire, with fire._

_..._

Outlook was barren, its population stricken with the skull shakes. Coming up over the hill Maya got her first look at Sanctuary. There it was, floating in the sky just waiting for her, the sun was setting behind it and it cast the city in a perfect silhouette. Lilith's voice still echoed in her head _"Sorry kid!" Kid, kid, kid, child, CHILD._ Now it was Brother Sophis' voice. It was driving Maya mad! She had to make it stop! Make Lilith shut up!

Finding a suitable platform Maya slung the beacon down and activated it.

_ Uh oh! Looks like Hyperion caught up with you! You have to protect the beacon until it is done synchronizing!_ Oh noooow it was **you**! No **we** on this one? This AI was becoming a bother.

Hoards of Hyperion mechs were entering the city, Maya was out numbered and out gunned. There was no way she could sit here and wait for this damn beacon to finish doing its thing! Her hands fumbled with the Eridium in her pocket. This was crazy she knew, she had no idea what was going to happen or what it would do to her. She squeezed it and felt the energy begin to soak into her skin. Her eyes never left the hoard of mechs coming her way, her body filling with electricity. She could feel it behind her eyes and beneath her finger tips. The first wave of mechs primed their rockets, all aimed her way. Things were happening in slow motion, she looked down at her feet. Her phaselock only stuck to physical things, it would never hold in mid-air...unless..._Hasel and Gretel left a trail of bread crumbs to find their way home..._

Maya bent down and grabbed a hand full of dirt. She tossed a piece into the air and threw a phaselock at it. It stuck. Maya smiled. She stepped up onto the phaselock, holding her hand out she tossed another pebble. _Here I come Lilith. _


	3. Chapter 3

"**Whore":** **In This Moment**

Lilith sat perched on the railing of the overlook of the Crimson HQ looking out over the still smoking city with her head on her hands. She thought about going to Moxxi's with the guys but had decided that she wasn't in the mood for the bar keep's nosiness. She didn't know what to do with herself. She was still buzzed and it was getting to a point where she was more frustrated with the feeling than enjoying it. She had used to like to go out into the wastes and just wreak havoc on anything she could find during a high like this. But she shouldn't leave the city now not so soon after they had been attacked just because she was angry with Roland. Or was she angry with herself?

She wondered a lot of things while she was sitting there. She wondered if Roland would forgive her. She wondered if she was even capable of quitting. She wondered if giving up Eridium was even worth it. She wondered why the sky was blue. She wondered where Maya was and if she was alright. They weren't really close but Lilith would have given anything to be able to talk to her right now. To go for a walk through Sanctuary and find some heap of rubble to sit on. Lilith wanted to pour her heart out and she knew Maya would listen. Misery loves company and Lilith craved it. She wanted Maya to hold her and tell her things would be ok. None of the guys would do this, she knew that. But Maya would understand.

Lilith's ears perked up as she heard a scream echo from somewhere within the city walls. More alarmed voices soon joined and she dismounted from her perch. Her eyes frantically searched the skies for another attack. She thought she heard someone yell "siren!" when a trail of blue phaselocks rounded the corner and headed straight for her.

"Maya?" Lilith didn't have time to get out anything else. Maya sprinted up the phaselocks and launched herself at Lilith.

* * *

Maya tackled Lilith through the door and into the strategy room of the HQ. She threw a phaselock and took a swing with her arm sending the phaselock (and Lilith) into the rear wall. Debris was blown everywhere, but Maya was there in an instant pinning Lilith to the wall with her arm on her neck. Her left arm still poised to throw another phaselock if necessary.

"Who's the child now BITCH!?" Maya yelled through her teeth.

...

It took Lilith completely by surprise she had no time to react and as a result found herself thrown against the wall, wind knocked out of her. She'd never seen Maya like this, not in all the times they'd fought side by side. It scared her. She had her pinned now and was staring straight into her eyes. Lilith could see the Eridium dancing behind them. Why was this happening? None of this made any sense to her!

"Did you think I'd just let you leave me out there?!" Maya yelled throwing another phaselock and whipping Lilith against the opposite wall. "Did you think you could get rid of me?!"

She had it all wrong, "Maya wait..." Maya didn't wait but Lilith was gone before the phaselock arrived. She appeared behind Maya with a crack "You've got it all wrong!" Maya whirled around ready with another phaselock but Lilith was gone again.

...

Maya didn't move right away, "I really don't think I do!" She threw a phaselock behind her quickly and it found its target, Lilith's feet. She pulled upwards sending the redhead's feet out from under her. She threw another phaselock this time around Lilith's neck. Maya stood over her, eyes glowing, she bent down tightening her hold.

...

Lilith was panicking she was on the defensive but she hadn't been prepared for this fight. Now Maya was slowing choking the life out of her. She couldn't phase her way out of this one, she wasn't on her feet. This was it.

Maya stared down and looked intensely into Lilith's eyes, she could feel the girl looking straight into her. No one would come her aid. They were all at Moxxi's. Maya was going to kill her. "The first man I ever killed was the last man to ever call me a child" Maya growled through her teeth and squeezed tighter.

It was getting harder to breath, she had to DO something. Clutching at Maya's outstretched arm Lilith managed to choke out a few words, "It was...a mistake...I didn't want to...send you away...I was trying to...tap into...your...power..." She saw Maya's eyes searching hers. _Please see the truth...let me go._

...

Maya saw the panic in Lilith's face. She had also seen panic in Brother Sophis when she'd killed him. But the words were different. Brother Sophis' last words were about her incomplete training about her weakness, they were words of control. These were not. These were acknowledgements of her strength, admissions of Lilith's own weakness and flaws. She looked deep into her golden eyes. "...I'm sorry."

She released Lilith and stood to the side.

...

Lilith's vision had begun to black out when the words had come. _I'm sorry_ and then all the air had come rushing back into her lungs. She clutched her neck choking on the new air entering her system. She lay there on the floor catching her breath as Maya scooped her up into her arms.

...

"I'm so sorry... I thought you wanted to get rid of me because I didn't listen to you about the core." Maya sat there on the floor with a dazed expression clutching Lilith in her arms as the redhead choked on air "Lilith, I..." It was clear to her now that the "kid" remark had not meant in offense and Maya felt ashamed. She had lost control.

"Fuck man! What the hell Maya!" Lilith punched her in the arm "I would have to be a pretty fucked up person to abandon you because you disagreed with me one time! It takes a pretty fucked up person to do what you just did!" she pushed away and began dusting herself off. Maya felt empty inside, she had almost killed this girl whom she had wanted to call friend. She'd let her emotions take over so completely.

"I just...when I saw Sanctuary disappear...and I was alone." Maya was at a loss for words. What do you say to someone who you just tried to kill? Sorry wasn't exactly going to cut it. She felt like such an ass! She was going to need some real mercy from Lilith.

...

This was pitiful. Maya was sitting on the floor acting like someone had just ran over her puppy. She'd just had her hand on her throat so why was Lilith feeling pity? She gave a frustrated sigh "Listen Maya, it'll be ok. I'm alright, you're alright. I'm not going to hate you. You got ahold of some Eridium...obviously. Thats some awesome shit isn't it? Come on get off the floor I think we've got some crap to talk about." Lilith motioned for her to get up and led her over to the balcony. Swinging her legs over the railing and sitting down she resumed her position from before. Maya leaned next to her.

"Ok, the first thing I need to know in order to be chill with everything that just happened is how you came to conclusion that you needed to kill me." Lilith said staring straight ahead watching the shadows grow long as the sun set behind them, "You didn't just think I was angry about the core so don't even give me some bullshit like that." Lilith was hurt but Maya didn't need to know that.

"You called me _kid._" Maya began.

"Yeah, I call you a lot of things its what I do..." Lilith interrupted, there'd better be a damn good story attached to this.

Maya took a deep breath "No, when I heard _kid_ I didn't hear a joke. I heard...something else."

Lilith was silent. She was listening.

"My mother sold me to an order of monks when I was very little. I was a Siren and the likelihood of someone giving birth to a Siren...you know. It was seen as a dark omen on my home world. So the monks hid me away from the rest of the world. The abbey was my home and I wasn't allowed outside of it. They trained me, educated me, taught me to control my power. But they never told me anything about myself, what it meant to be a Siren or where we even come from. They hardly ever used my name, only one monk ever called me Maya. Brother Harkin was nice to me. But the rest of them all called me _child_. No matter how old I got I was always a child to them. I grew to hate it so much. It was like I would never grow up and I'd be in their control forever..."

Maya paused for a moment, "One day everything changed. They brought me outside and there were all these people gathered around. Thousands of people, and I was introduced to them as their protector. The monks paraded me around and said that I would protect their planet from evil. I didn't know how to protect anything. The people weren't happy to see me, they just stared."

"I thought things were changing. That this was what I was made for until the monks brought me to a group of people. They were tied up and on their knees and the brothers placed me in front of them. Brother Sophis told me that they were evil people, that they were criminals and I needed to execute them to protect the people. The prisoners were screaming, they were terrified of me and I'd never even seen them before. I'd never hurt anyone in my life! I got angry and I refused to do it. Brother Sophis yelled at me to "kill them child! Its your duty!" What gave them the right to decide who lives and who dies?"

"Then it all made sense to me. I was what gave them that right. As long as I was theirs they could do as they pleased and as long as I thought they had power over me they ruled this planet. Child. It was that word that had kept me in chains for twenty seven years. I was not their god. I was not going to be their bad omen. When I killed Brother Sophis he plead with me to let him complete my training. He called me _child _and then I shot him. It was the first time that I had passed my own judgement, I'd found the real evil. So I ran from that planet and from that life."

Maya glanced up at Lilith who was still staring ahead, "So when you called me kid and I'd thought you'd brushed me aside because I was weak and incomplete I just...snapped."

It all made so much sense now.

* * *

They sat in silence for a long time. Lilith hadn't moved but Maya wasn't sure what else to say, "I've never told that story before..." still nothing from Lilith so she waited...

"My mother didn't want me either..." Maya looked up again but Lilith's face was still as stone. "She wanted me to be a normal kid. She hated the tattoos, which made everyone else hate the tattoos..." Now she turned around to face the inside of the balcony, still she did not look at Maya, her face held a far off expression.

"She didn't try to sell me or give me away or anything like that but she tried really hard to make me change. If I could have I would have, I mean what kid doesn't want to make their mother happy right? She used to bleach my skin where the tattoos are to get them to go away. It would be no problem if I didn't use my powers but the tattoos were what gave me away. They would fade and then come back and my mother would hate me. She said I was doing it on purpose but I really wasn't. Its probably why yours are so much darker than mine..." Maya had never noticed but now she could clearly see Lilith's were of a much lighter blue.

"She tried burning them off once. Thats when we discovered my resistance to fire. Then everyone talked about how crazy Ma Cashlin tried to burn her daughter alive but the freakazoid didn't burn. After that she gave up, I'd ruined her chance at a normal life. She was glad to see me go, when I was sixteen I just hopped on a train and let it take me anywhere. I did what I needed to for money and thats how I ended up here."

This time it was Maya's turn to be silent as she was taking in everything Lilith had just told her.

"I guess Sirens are such a rarity people just don't know what to do with us...people are scared of what they don't know." Lilith added sliding off her perch taking Maya's hand in hers. "so whadda you say killer. Us Sirens have to stick together!"

"I didn't hurt you did I?" Maya felt relieved, ironically this situation had left her feeling closer to Lilith.

"Naaaah maybe lost a few brain cells from all the choking but I'm fine." Lilith smacked her on the back of the head. She didn't have the heart to stay mad at Maya despite the heavy bruising that was bound to happen on her back.

"Would you let me buy you a drink?" Maya asked.

"There is nothing I could want more right now." Lilith laughed.

A small smile played on Maya's lips. It felt good to have told that to someone, she felt physically lighter. She was happy that Lilith wasn't dead and that they shared this moment and that Lilith wanted to spend more time with her. So this was what friendship felt like.

* * *

The guys were all at Moxxi's already and gave the two a cheer as they entered.

"Great to have you back Maya!" Salvador slapped her on the back. He grabbed Lilith and lifted her up to sit on one of this gigantic shoulders "And here is the woman who saved us all!"

The whole bar roared and Maya couldn't help but smile up at Lilith.

"You don't fuck with the Firehawk!" someone yelled from the crowd.

"Damn right!" Salvador yelled throwing his fist into the air.

Maya walked up to the bar and Moxxi sauntered over "What'll ya be havin' sugar?"

"Two of what ever Lilith drinks." Maya had to lean in close to be heard over the crowd and she could smell the bar keep's heavy perfume.

"Buyin' the lovely lady a drink? You ever had what she drinks? You'll be in for some surprises!" Moxxi winked.

Maya understood exactly what she meant as she took her first sip. It burned all the way down and kept on burning like a small fire had been lit in her. Lilith had practically chugged hers and seemed like she was having a good time. Maya looked around and noted Roland's absence, he must be really hurt or she'd think Lilith would be all over him. She looked down at her glass.

Axton called out for shots "Common Maya!" Lilith grabbed her arm "I'm not getting fucked up without you! You owwwwe me" Lilith's drink was strong and she could feel it already, shots didn't sound bad!

"Two for me two for her Mox!" Lilith held out two fingers and wiggled them at the bartender "Gimme somethin' strong!"

The leftover Eridium mixed with the alcohol was something Maya couldn't have described. The room spun and her skin tingled, she could see why Lilith liked it so much. She felt her inhibitions leaving her as she downed the last shot.

"Better make that one more!" Maya called out.

"Now you're getting the hang of it!" Lilith nudged her and the shots arrived, "1..2..3 bottoms up!"

Maya couldn't even feel the last one, she slammed the glass back on the counter and grabbed Lilith's shoulder. The red head turned to face her and before Maya could think twice she had her hand on the back of Lilith's neck and her lips pressed against hers.

It took Maya completely by surprise when Lilith wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her closer. There were cheers coming from the crowd near them. _Shouldn't I be caring about whether Roland is around?_ Maya found herself not giving a damn when Lilith didn't even attempt to pull away.

_..._

Maya's skin was warm and Lilith found herself enjoying every moment. It had surprised her but she'd rolled with it. Maya turned out to be a good kisser for a girl who'd been locked up her whole life! She didn't want it to stop but they were going to have to take a breath sooner or later.

She broke the kiss "Thats what I'm talkin' about!" Maya had a satisfied smirk on her face. Lilith hooked her index fingers into the front of Maya's pants, "You haven't seen the last of me you can count on that! Can I get another one of those firehawks Moxxi?"

Maya was pulled away by one of the guys who promptly mussed her hair. Lilith wanted more, Maya had awakened something she'd never felt for Roland. She watched the blue haired girl getting ruffed up by Axton and Mordecai. Taking her time with this drink Lilith sat at the bar and ran her eyes over Maya's body. Her eyes fell on the bit of Maya's hip that was visible above her pants (that were clearly to big for her). She couldn't wait any longer, maybe it was the alcohol talking but Lilith found herself leaving the bar stool and grabbing Maya's hand. She pulled her away from the crowd and toward the door.

"Where are we going?" Maya said stumbling behind her.

"Your room."

* * *

Back in Maya's room Lilith closed the door quickly behind them and pulled Maya close kissing her once more taking the time to run her hands down the taller girl's body. She was perfect. This had turned out to be a funny day.

Maya pushed Lilith back into the door running one of her hands through her hair the other holding her in the embrace. All other thoughts had completely disappeared and the only thing is this moment was the two of them. Maya kissed Lilith's jawline and down her neck.

Her hands shaking from the combination of adrenaline, alcohol and Eridium Maya fumbled with zippers and clasps. They'd knocked over a few things and undoubtably had made a bit of a ruckus but no one was home to care. Lilith was beautiful and Maya fully intended on taking full advantage of this opportunity to appreciate all of her.

"Maya..." Lilith whispered breathlessly into her hair and that was all the invitation Maya needed.

_I hope everyone is enjoying this so far. This was really the part I was dying to get to. I've based all of the backstories on as much as is given by the game. Lilith's last name doesn't appear in game but it was stated as being Cashlin in a bit of unused code, the rest of her's was ad-libbed since I couldn't find any information about her origins before the first game._


	4. Chapter 4

_Looking back on my previous chapters I feel like I was rushing. So I've slowed it down a bit. Let me know if it's sounding better. I really appreciate the feedback so far!_

"**My Medicine": The Pretty Reckless**

An awful sound filled Maya's ears. Frantically she searched for the source, _make it stop make it stop make it stop!_ The alarm clock had fallen under the bed, a casualty of last night's...oh thats right! It all came flooding back to her. Lilith slamming the door, the way her hair felt between Maya's fingers, her lips, her body.

Maya yanked the screaming clock from the wall. Her head was pounding. Where was Lilith now? Maya slid a hand over to find emptiness next to her, she rolled over and noticed something new on the desk. She sat up slowly, her brain feeling like it was going to burst from her skull. A cup of black coffee, two painkillers and a note sat on the corner of the desk among the rubble of last night. She picked up the note and squinted her unfocused eyes...

Hey Killer,

Pills for the hangover

and coffee for the wicked

comedown you probably

have. It helps I promise.

Lilith

Maya gratefully took the pills and downed the coffee. Then sinking back into bed she pulled the covers over her head to mull over the events of yesterday.

* * *

Lilith stood in the shower, scalding hot water pouring down on her head. She'd been standing there for a while now just thinking. She was still processing all the events of the previous day. It was a lot to take in and she wasn't sure how to deal with it or even how to go forward.

_Shields go down_

_Shit gets real_

_Phaseshift an entire __**city**_

_Roland gets semi impaled_

_Roland doesn't want me anymore_

_Seek comfort_

_Almost get killed _

_Story time with almost killer_

_Get welcomed as hero_

_Get drunk_

_Drunk fuck Maya _

What the fuck?! What a crazy fucking day from hell! What was wrong with her!? None of that had been good decision making! Well the city turned out ok, but the rest? None of that was ok! Erm...well...sex with Maya wasn't bad either, she'd like to keep that memory...but Roland...she wouldn't be sharing anything more with him...ever...and then that shit where she almost died at the hands of the person she'd just slept with? She'd dealt with that real well hadn't she. She felt like she was on overload, she could feel tears welling up. Not just tears, she felt sobs welling up. It was too much, all of it. She still loved Roland and it was all her fault that she would never find herself in his arms again. She was no hero, she was no lover, she was just a selfish addict who'd tried to fuck her problems away and failed. She couldn't keep going on like this.

She leaned against the shower wall hands on her temples and fingers digging into her scalp. She felt like screaming! Sliding down the wall she put her head between her knees. How was she supposed to know what to do about this? She would have gladly traded places with Maya in this moment. Oh the simplicity of a hangover, if only she could just have a hangover, or something she knew how to handle.

* * *

Maya's eyes snapped open, she was gonna barf. _Note to self, never mix alcohol and Eridium again!_ Bathroom, she had to get to the bathroom but she was still naked! Frantically searching the dark room she threw on a t-shirt. Good enough! She opened her door and was greeted by blinding morning light, she threw her arm in front of her face to shield her eyes. Hurrying down the hallway she passed Axton who gave her two thumbs up and wiggled his eyebrows, she smiled at him nervously. _Keep your mouth closed Maya!_ _Good gods bathroom! bathroom!_ Oh no, someone was in the bathroom already. The shower was running but Maya didn't care, she didn't have a choice. She opened the door and threw herself over the toilet.

She imagined this was what dying felt like. Your skull split open, turning inside out through your mouth. Make it stop make it stop.

Just when she felt it couldn't get worse it ended. Giving a flush Maya leaned on the side of the toilet. This was the price she was paying for all her fun, her jumping to conclusions and...fun. She heaved herself up to the sink and rinsed her mouth. She paused as she turned off the water, she was sure she'd heard an odd sound from the shower.

"Who's in there? Are you ok?" When she didn't receive an answer she slowly peered around the curtain. There was Lilith, sobbing into her knees with her hands on her head as if she was ready for an air raid. Her skin was bright pink from the scalding water and she'd chewed her nails into nubs. Maya climbed into the shower and gathered Lilith up in her arms. _Damn this waters HOT._ She wasn't sure of what to say, so she just held the other girl as her body wracked with sobs.

Slowly Lilith seemed to calm down. Finally she spoke, her voice hitching "Roland...hck left me..." she took a deep breath "I wanted to tell you...yesterday. But you were too busy KILLING ME!" She gave Maya a stiff elbow that caught her in the stomach.

She'd deserved that one, Maya reached over and gave the knobs a twist. This Lilith was so different from the Lilith she'd seen before. She was always so confident, always prepared for everything and never shy. This girl in front of her was so venerable. Maya had never seen her without make up, and with her hair dripping wet Lilith looked fragile. This was her, this was what lay underneath that visage she wore like a soldier wears body armor.

Stepping out of the shower Maya drew Lilith into a tight embrace. She noticed the dark yellowing bruising on the smaller girl's back and felt a pang of guilt.

"It's all my fault too...I did it to myself" she spoke into Maya's shoulder. "I lied and I lied and I don't know what I was expecting."

Maya wasn't sure what she was talking about but she didn't say anything. Undoubtably there were better places for comfort than the bathroom. She couldn't take Lilith to her own room, the room she'd shared with Roland. They'd have to go to Maya's room, which was still a wreck from the previous night's escapades.

"Lets go to my room, we can talk" Maya said in an asking tone. Lilith nodded.

She cast off the t-shirt that was now soaking wet and threw it into a corner. Wrapping herself in a towel she peeked her head out the door, no one was in the hallway, good. Lilith bundled up in a towel and followed Maya out the door.

Maya's room was dark and in shambles. It was worse than she'd remembered, she wished she could've taken Lilith somewhere else but there was little privacy in the HQ. So it was here they'd have to make due amongst the fallout.

Lilith paused in the doorway, her eyes flicking over the rubble before slowly entering and allowing Maya to shut the door.

Getting into bed Maya pulled the covers up onto them and let Lilith huddle close. With her head resting on Maya's shoulder Lilith wrapped her arm around the blue siren's waist.

"He says I use to much."

"What?"

"Eridium. It's why he can't be with me... he told me I'm out of control."

"Mmm...Do you think you are?"

"No. I don't know...maybe...I'm not sure."

Maya nodded.

"I'd told him, before I met you...before you got here. I'd told him I'd cut back. He said I was getting to dependent on it. Then he got captured and I couldn't get him back, I tried. I didn't know what to do...so I took more. Well then you guys showed up and kicked everyone asses and saved mine and Roland's. Things didn't get better. He found out about how much I'd been using. Thats why I told you things weren't great. I guess thats when he made up his mind..."

She paused. "I didn't used to need it. I could've moved the city without it before. But the now, I can't focus without it. I'm useless without it..."

Maya laid her cheek on Lilith's head. Her hair smelled good. "The monks used to tell me during my training that my greatest obstacle and my greatest enemy was and always will be myself." She kissed the top of Lilith's head, "It will be ok. I will always be here."

She couldn't save Lilith from herself, that was a fight she couldn't fight, but she would be here to catch her if she fell. In a very short time she felt like she'd grown close to the other siren. She cared deeply for her in this moment. With a finger Maya traced the tattoo on Lilith's shoulder and let her thoughts wander to the night before. It had been sloppy and fierce. But there were some details Maya couldn't get out of her head. Lilith had given herself over with abandon. She'd given herself to Maya completely and Maya could remember how Lilith's body had felt, inside and out. Now here she was giving herself to Maya again in a completely different way. She let herself relax and rested her head on top of Lilith's, closing her eyes Maya slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Lilith let a few silent tears roll down her face. But here in Maya's arms she finally felt safe. Despite all of the shit that had happened Maya had seemed so inevitable to her. She was the one Lilith had sought to find comfort in and here in her arms Lilith finally felt like things could be ok.


	5. Chapter 5

"**Heart of Gold": Neil Young**

Roland listens to the loneliness playing over the speakers as he sits alone nursing his drink. Moxxi's is empty except for a few lonely patrons swallowing their troubles. Two men sit in a corner speaking in hushed voices. A girl and a guy stand by the radio failing to discretely flirt with each other. He doesn't know them but Roland feels bitter, he gets up and positions himself so he won't see them anymore.

* * *

It had been a day since his leg had been impaled and Roland was relieved to finally get out of Zed's and hobble back over to the Crimson HQ. There was work to be done, he didn't have time to sit and heal. It was his duty to protect the people of Sanctuary, besides he'd suffered far worse than this. So here he sat in front of a mound of papers in the Strategy room. Logs of the damage the city had received in the attack, supply lists, fuel rations and a list of the dead. He was currently calculating the cost of new supplies to patch the holes they'd blown into people's lives by activating that Hyperion core, waiting for Scooter to get back to him with the exact amount of fuel they were burning through trying to keep this city afloat.

He'd called a meeting of the vault hunters who were slowly gathering and finding their respective seats around the room. Lilith's chair lay empty beside him. She knew how to run the city as well has he and if there was big decision making to do he felt obligated to include her in it despite their current status. His training had always taught him to keep a level head and never mix matters of the head with matters of the heart. This was how Roland was able to compartmentalize when he and Lilith had gotten involved. She too seemed good at recognizing when to be a soldier and when to be a lover.

Mordecai moseyed in and took a seat by the door, he lay his rifle across his lap and began disassembling it for cleaning. Axton and Maya wandered in and sat together on a couch. _They'd make a good pair,_ Roland thought to himself. Axton was a good soldier, he deserved better companionship than what Roland knew he'd been finding at Moxxi's. Maya would be a strong partner, she was solid in battle and easy on the eyes. He shifted some papers in front of him. Only one person had not turned up yet and Roland wondered if he should start the meeting anyway. The sooner the team was able to tackle the repairs around the city the easier it would be to fully assess the situation and form a plan for dealing with Jack.

Finally he saw her saunter in, she did not look his way instead she sat down on the couch and leaned back throwing one of her legs over Maya's lap. Fine, if she wanted to be that way. Typical Lilith. He forgot from time to time about Lilith's cockiness and how disagreeable she could become even in times of crisis. Stubborn.

"Now that everyone finally decided to show up..." He eyed the hunter's who'd come in last, "Sanctuary is in desperate need. We need food, water and more importantly we need to reestablish a link to the fast travel network. It will make contact with the ground infinitely easier and the transport of supplies from the ground that much more efficient."

He heard Maya clear her throat, he paused and looked her way.

"I set up a transport beacon in the town of Outlook a few days ago. It needs to be activated but it will sync us back into the network." This was good news.

"It isn't active? How were you able to return to the city?" He watched the Siren's face as her eyes dropped and glanced at Lilith.

"I returned through...individual means..." She was staring fixedly on Lilith's leg in her lap, seemingly avoiding all eye contact.

Roland furrowed his brows and watched the Siren a moment before moving on.

"There is also the matter of cleaning the rubble and maintaining our defenses. Mordecai and Axton can I depend on you to see that the citizens are safe and our defenses are in good condition? We need to make sure we aren't venerable from underneath as well."

Mordecai gave a silent nod as he continued cleaning his rifle.

"Good. Now, I understand from the reports that there are a lot of collapsed houses on the west side and there is still a lot of rubble in the streets. Brick and Salvador I'm giving you the job of finding somewhere for all of that to go. We need to start repairs of the houses immediately." He paused his eyes finding Zero, "Zero...can you see to the families who lost someone in the attack? See that their loved ones are properly taken care of, help them find comfort." Zero bowed low in acceptance of this task. Roland knew he would do everything he could for the families. Zero, what ever he was, held human life in high regard, Roland had seen him in battle, even his enemies died as quickly and painlessly as Zero could possibly make it. For that Roland held him in high respect.

He came to his last order of business, the one he'd been putting off since seeing Lilith walk in. Her body language had told him that she was not of level mind at the moment, even now she was fidgeting with one of Maya's belt loops as if she expected no part in this at all. Her moods could change with the weather and even though he knew she was devoted to protecting the city she was still Lilith, and sometimes Lilith could be such an asshole. "Lilith." He saw her pause but she did not look his way. "I need you to phase to the ground to activate the beacon." He swallowed and waited for her reaction. He could see her jaw working, grinding her teeth. "Take Maya with you for backup in case there is trouble." He saw the two sirens exchange a look. "Its important that we get this connection established..."

Lilith's hand flew into the air in interruption "We got it ok!? We got it."

"Right...meet back here tomorrow morning for progress reports..." He stared down at his papers as the vault hunters slowly emptied the room. After a moment he got up his strength and hobbled over to the balcony behind him. He watched as the hunters slowly left the building to get to their respective tasks. He would have liked to accompany Zero but his wound was to fresh for any prolonged work. He took the attack on Sanctuary personally and he wanted the citizens to know that.

Presently he felt someone lean on the railing next to him. It was Axton, had he been expecting Lilith? No, her and Maya just appeared beneath them walking side by side out of the Headquarters.

"How are you holding up man? Still got both legs!" Roland appreciated Axton's light heartedness. He gave a smile and chuckled.

"Yeah," he laughed, "Zed tried to talk me into getting a third one though." The joking was lightening his mood, "Hey you puttin' the moves on Maya? She's a bombshell ain't she?" He punched Axton in the shoulder and nodded his head towards to two sirens walking away.

Axton let out a small laugh, "Ah well, nah. Wish I could say I was. She's got moves for someone else." Seeing Roland's brow furrow the other soldier raised his eyebrows and gave a quick double nod at the sirens.

Roland quickly looked back out towards where the two were just disappearing around the corner. As if to confirm what Axton had just said, as fate had it, he saw Lilith give Maya's butt a pinch and their fading laughter could be heard long after they had vanished from his sight.

"I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got **your** job to do!" the commando joked pushing off the railing, "Don't work to hard ok?" Clapping him on the back Axton took his leave, leaving Roland with his thoughts rolling around in his head.

Undoubtably Maya's intentions had been harmless. Roland told this to himself as he was trying to rationalize the implications that small gesture had seemed to give him. To his knowledge none of the others knew about the falling out that had happened between Lilith and himself. But from what he'd seen of Lilith she wasn't going out of her way to hide it. He shoved these thoughts to the back of his mind as he returned to his work. But like termites slowly eating the foundation of a perfectly good house, they kept creeping into his mind and burrowing deeper until he couldn't ignore them any longer.

* * *

Thats how Roland found himself at Moxxi's on this late Pandora afternoon. Mulling things over alone on a barstool with a small bit of comfort in his glass. He downed the last of this brew and stared into his empty glass thoughtfully.

Presently the barkeep walked over quietly, "Let me get you another one of those sugar..." she said slowly taking his glass from his hand.

Roland wanted to ask if she knew how Lilith was doing, but he wasn't sure he wanted to hear any answer she had to give. Still. It was eating at him. So when she came back bearing another full glass he grabbed her hand before she could walk away. "Moxx..." he looked into her eyes, she knew why he was here, he could tell.

"What is it sugar? Somethin' wrong?"

"Tell me. Tell me the truth. I need to know." She knew what he was talking about but she was trying to avoid it.

"What do you mean big guy? What do you need?" She leaned into the counter, her cleavage clearly visible meant to distract him.

"I need to know about Lilith."

"Oh well, I don't think I can say what is going on with that girl" Her eyes flicked to the other customers in the bar hoping one of them needed her attention.

"Then tell me about Maya." He was staring her down, but he was almost desperate for some straight information to put his mind at ease.

"Now I don't know what your askin' from me but I don't think..." She began to pull away from him but he held her hand hard in his.

"I know something is going on, dammit Moxxi tell me if you know something. Someone better tell me something soon I swear." He knew he was gripping her hand to tightly he could see it in her face. He was beginning to feel desperate, the demons in his head were beginning to be to much to bear.

"Ok sugar Ok just gimme my hand back alright?" He released her hand and she flexed it looking at him and his glass. "They were in here the other night, after the city started flyin' everyone was celebratin' an havin' to much to drink. They were just havin' a good time. It was sweet, seein' the sirens gettin' to know each other. Well, I think Maya was havin' a little more than she prolly shoulda..." here Moxxi paused, Roland searched her face for any sign of what was next. If it was anything he wanted to hear she wouldn't have hesitated. She began wiping the bar with a rag "Well...Maya went and grabbed your girl Lilith an' planted one right on her lips." She continued her cleaning of the already clean bar, stealing a glance out of the corner of her eye at Roland. "It took 'er by surprise sure, it took us all by surprise...but she didn't push away neither. A little while later I saw Lilith drag Maya otta here real quick like and thats all I know sweetness." Moxxi hid the rag under the counter and looked back at Roland.

She'd given him the abridged version he knew. "And everyone just let me walk around like a fool. Everybody was here, everybody knew..." He took a long swig from his glass.

Moxxi put a hand on his arm, "No one wants to bear that news honey. B'sides its somethin' between you an' Lilith and ain't nobody's else's business."

She was right and he couldn't be angry at her for this. But he needed to be alone now, he had a lot to think about.

Roland listens to the loneliness playing over the speakers as he sits alone nursing his drink. Moxxi's is empty except for a few lonely patrons swallowing their troubles...

* * *

**a/n:**_ To be honest I never saw myself writing a chapter for Roland. I never felt like I understood men well enough to write for them. But his story is a little tragic and it turned into this. My chapters will probably be coming a bit more slowly from now on, I've reached where I am in the game and between classes this semester and work it might take me a little longer to get these chapters out. I'll try my best though! I appreciate all the support I've gotten from this community. Feel free to drop me a message if you want and please review! I always like to talk!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Dead Air...**

The wind was cold this high up. It whipped around her clinging to her cheeks, grabbing ahold of her hair and sent it dancing around her head. She could feel it flow between her fingers on her out stretched arms and tug at her clothes. The sunlight glowed orange through her eye lids and she took a deep breath. As the cold air entered her lungs she shifted her weight to her toes and slowly fell forward. She imagined herself flying. Or falling. Free through the air, down, down, down. Letting the wind currents take her and toss her about freely. The clouds were above her and beneath her all at the same time. Now and then she would find herself staring at the ground rushing up to meet her, the longer she looked the clearer she could see it. It came closer and closer until she could almost smell the dirt and grass. She welcomed it with open arms.

Lilith opened her eyes to the sun set and let out her breath slowly. She'd been standing on the roof of the HQ for some time. There wasn't much privacy in Sanctuary these days. She'd come up here to think, rising above the walls of the city she could see everything and it brought her a sense of peace. Things had moved so fast. Her brain was always racing these days. She closed her eyes again.

* * *

"Lilith." Roland's voice found her in the hallway. She paused. Roland stood behind her in the doorway to the strategy room. She hadn't spoken to him since he'd gotten back from Zed's, except for the few words exchanged at the meeting. She turned and her eyes searched his face for some indication of what this was about.

"Roland." She parroted back at him, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

He didn't miss a beat "Can I have a word with you?"

She rolled her eyes "I don't know can you?"

He only returned her stare with a cold one of his own. So emotionless, so...Roland.

"Ugh, yes, yes I guess so." She said with words of disdain. In truth she didn't want to be so cold towards him. She loved him and even though Maya had been wonderful and so very kind in letting her stay with her, if she was honest with herself, she wasn't ok with what had happened between her and Roland. It hurt so much and she didn't like to think about it. It took all of her will power to keep up this facade toward him. The Lilith inside wanted to run to him, to plead with him, beg him, wanted him to wrap his arms around her again. She felt so powerless.

She followed him in to the empty room where the cool night air drifted in from the door to the balcony.

He didn't turn to face her right away, instead he stared out the balcony door into the night. "I don't know how else to address this. So I'm going to just come right out and say it because I need to know Lilith." He turned now his eyes meeting hers, searching for some unspoken answer that would give him relief.

Lilith felt as though her heart was caught in her throat. She couldn't swallow it, it was a feeling that made her absolutely frightened. She wanted to bolt, to run away and never have to face whatever it was he was going to say because she wasn't sure she would be able to hold herself together. His hesitation was killing her, she was going to explode "So say it!"

"I need to know. You and Maya...are you?" He was a soldier alright, he held her gaze with a command she had never known another person to have.

She ran her hand through her hair and stared at his boots. Heaving a sigh she brought herself to speak "I can't believe...what gives you the right? You abandoned me! You gave up Roland!" She began pacing "You...you didn't want anything to do with me and now suddenly you care because someone else does?" _Run. Run. Run. _

He grabbed her shoulders to stop her "I care about you Lilith. It didn't mean that I don't care."

"Don't do that!" She beat a fist on his chest "You don't get to play with me like that!"

"You and Maya..." He asked again.

She felt tears welling up, she hadn't been prepared for this. She'd been expecting something more about her on going addiction, not this. "I don't know." she answered solemnly.

He was silent. She could feel his eyes on her still.

"I don't know Roland. I don't know why you suddenly care, I don't know why it matters, I don't know what me and Maya are."

"I care because I love you" he said in a hushed voice "I was under the impression you felt the same, that's why it matters."

Lilith's mind was racing. So many things were flashing by all at once. The day she'd met him. Their first kiss. Maya. Roland's eyes a moment ago. Maya. Maya's body. The way his arms felt around her. The way Maya's eyes looked into hers the night they came home from the bar. She felt like she was suffocating.

"I can't...I can't tell you..." She began pacing again. "I...I need to go. I'm sorry." She glanced back at him. He looked so small, so crushed. He was not a soldier now. Just a man. Why did all of this have to be her fault?! It was too much. It hurt. It hurt so bad.

She turned and without looking back again left the HQ. Anything she could have said would confirm his worst fears. Leaving like this probably still confirmed his worst fears to him. If he still loved her, she had hurt him. She had hurt him with her habit and with the fallout. The worst part was she wasn't even sure what all of that even meant. She didn't know what she felt for Maya.

She headed for Sanctuary's main gate. She didn't know where she was going to go but she couldn't stay here. She slowed when she came to the gaping mouth that swallowed the sky at the head of the city. Oh yeah, there was that. She walked to the edge, held out her arms and felt the wind on her cheeks once more. Tears streamed down her face. She felt trapped here.

She closed her eyes and lost herself on the wind.

* * *

**A/N: Boy this is becoming quite the opera isn't it? Apologies for taking so long on such a short chapter. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Please excuse our regular broadcast, this is just a test.**

"I need my own place" Lilith sat on the edge of Maya's bed.

"Mmm?" Maya looked up from her book where she sat leaning against the headboard.

"I need to find an apartment or something. You're awesome for letting me stay here and all but I need to get out of headquarters..." Lilith stared at her boots. Maya had been extremely respectful of her situation, never asking for more than what Lilith was willing to give.

"Getting cabin fever?" Maya closed her book. Lilith lay back on the bed, her head resting on Maya's legs.

"Something. I just...I need to be able to breath" She let out a sigh.

Maya looked down at Lilith whose eyes were fixed on the ceiling. She hadn't pushed Lilith to talk about Roland, or to talk about their relationship though there was a bit of confusion surrounding their...situation. She was going through a lot Maya knew, and when Lilith needed to talk Maya was always there for her. Since that night, the night that had started all of this, they'd respected each other's boundaries and never shared a kiss or a cuddle. Maya wasn't sure what Lilith felt if she felt anything but she could swear that she would catch the red head looking at her occasionally out of the corner of her eye.

"Yeah, space could be a good thing." Maya said distantly reaching a hand down to stroke the other woman's hair.

"Would you be staying here?" Lilith asked glancing up at Maya.

"I don't know...I mean...I...are you asking me to come with you?"

"I will totally understand if you don't want to, you have a pretty good set up here," Lilith said quickly.

Maya was silent as she mulled it over. Her and Lilith had grown close in the last few weeks. Friends they were just friends; Maya had tried to tell herself a million times, but she couldn't help but feeling like there was something more. Lilith had just come out of a relationship and probably wasn't looking for another, but since that night that Maya had not been able to get Lilith out of her head. She had tried to push the feelings away and tell her self that it couldn't happen. But they'd crept up on her in the way Lilith giggled, in the way she tucked her hair behind her ear, that way she loosely fingered the page of a book before turning it, it was in the little subtleties that Maya found Lilith the most alluring and hard to resist. And now, she was asking Maya to live with her?

Maya wasn't sure how much longer she could trust herself.

"Wow Lil...I uh..." Maya stammered "can I have some time to think about that?"

Lilith sat up "Sure, no rush dude," giving an acknowledging nod, her eyes lingered on Maya's for a moment and with a straight face she exited the bedroom.

Maya stared at the open door. How long did she have to come up with something to say to Lilith? She needed to buy herself some time to think. Her eyes fell on her guns propped in the corner, she stared at them for a moment in thought then slung them over her shoulder. Now would be as good a time as any to see if anything could be done about Outlook, getting out of the city would be like a breath of fresh air.


	8. Chapter 8

"**Old King" : Neil Young**

The sun had risen and fallen three times since Lilith had last seen Maya. She had not come home that night after Lilith had asked Maya to live with her and she couldn't help but feel like it was her fault if something had happened to the blue-haired Siren. Maya had not ECHOed in a report, she had not said where she was going but she had left her room unlocked for Lilith. Her guns were gone which told Lilith she had left the city, a luxury this Siren didn't have at the moment.

Lilith lay back on the bed, one leg dangling off the edge. She watched the dust dance in the beam of noon day sun streaming in from the small window.

"GOD DAMN THIS PLANET!" She heard the door to the HQ slam open and furniture overturn on the first floor.

The muffled voice of Patricia Tannis could be heard distressing over what could only be assumed was her research spilling onto the floor in the commotion. Lilith sat up in bed. Footsteps could be heard stomping up the stairs and Lilith could make out the sound of Mordecai's labored breathing.

Coming out of the room she found the sniper sitting in the strategy room with his head in his hands. Roland was already there with his hand on the other Vault Hunter's shoulder. "Mordecai, what happ..."

But he was cut off, "He killed BLOODWING MAN! He...gahhh DAMMIT JACK!" Mordecai stood up throwing his chair behind him and began to pace the room.

Lilith looked from Mordecai to Roland; the soldier was standing with his jaw clenched. She headed straight for him grabbing his shoulder and dragging him to the balcony. "What are we going to do Roland, we can't just let him get away with his..." She said, turning to him.

Roland stood silent, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Shit!" Lilith turned and slapped her hands on the railing.

Mordecai could still be heard pacing, kicking boxes and other trash that had been left on the floor of the HQ, muttering curses.

Lilith laughed to herself, "Do you remember that time..." she turned to Roland and was surprised to see Maya standing in the doorway. "Maya...I didn't hear you..." She glanced at Roland, despite the current situation she found herself nervous that both of them were standing in front of her.

Maya's face held a far off expression, when her eyes finally met Lilith's she spoke with a hoarse voice, "I tried...but Jack...I didn't know..."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small micro-chip, "Here...the claptrap upgrade..." handing it to Roland she let her arm fall limply to her side.

Looking at the ground Maya continued, "When I got there he'd already moved Bloodwing. So I...I did what he told me, I found her and he'd...Hyperion had done slag experiments. She wasn't the same. We were just going to tranquilize her, bring her back here but...Jack, he'd...the chip was on a collar. When I took the chip and she looked at me, I could see it in her eyes...she wasn't all gone, she was still in there. Then the collar...it..." she hushed her voice as if to soften the blow the news was sure to make, "it...exploded."

"SHUT UP ALREADY" Maya winced as Mordecai's voice riddled with grief exploded from inside the room.

"Thank you, Maya." Roland nodded, "Bloodwing made the greatest sacrifice and we will honor her for such. This chip is essential to accessing the vault, but words cannot suffice at this moment the gratitude we owe to you, Mordecai and most of all to Bloodwing."

She nodded in return and as she turned to leave her eyes fell on Lilith who'd stood silent as she'd recounted the events of her absence.

Lilith wanted so badly to follow Maya, but she stayed rooted to her spot as she watched the blue haired girl turn and leave. This attack would be taken personally by the Vault Hunters and she knew Roland would want to sort things out before they would be allowed to retire for the night.

* * *

It was late before the conversation died and Lilith was exhausted when she finally made her way to Maya's room. Not knowing what she'd find when she entered, Lilith let herself in quietly. She found Maya still up, sitting in bed with her knees drawn up around her and her head down.

Maya looked up, "Lilith..."

"Hey kil..." she thought better of that nickname for the moment, "Hey, Maya, you doing ok?"

Maya uncurled herself as Lilith sat next to her.

"I've been better for sure. I just, I can't get her out of my head" she looked down at her feet, "She knew...she knew what that collar was for and what was going to happen. She wanted me to take the chip. It was almost like..." Maya shook her head, "Like she wanted it to be over."

Lilith wrapped her arm around Maya, pulling the other girl close to her.

"She wanted to die. God, Jack had pumped her full of so much...so much junk! I can't imagine the pain..." Her voice was starting to shake, "I didn't know when I ran into Mordecai that it would have ended like that. I was just...out seeing if I could do anything for Outlook...and I ran into him and he asked for my help. We're a team right? Thats what a team does! But inside that place Lilith...it was unreal. The pain and suffering...it wasn't just animals, it was humans too..."

"I just wish there was something I could have done. But I was useless, I just stood there! She died and I just stood there!"

"What could you have done? Maya, I know how this is going to sound coming from me but...we can't save everyone. Sometimes its just...not our fault." Lilith said softly, stroking Maya's hair.

* * *

The two sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity.

"Who will be next?" Maya finally said weakly. "I hate this. So much death all of the time! I don't know what I would do if it had been you..." Had she just said that out loud? Maya's heart jumped to her throat and she tried unsuccessfully to swallow it.

Lilith sat in thought for a moment. She turned and let her lips rest on the side of Maya's head, her hair still smelled of battle, that faint scent of dirt, metal and gasoline.

"Maya...have you given any more thought to my offer?"

She felt Maya grow still and for a moment neither of them moved. Then ever so slightly Lilith felt Maya nod.

"...And?" Lilith was never good at things like this. She almost didn't want to know the answer at the pure possibility that it would be the one she didn't want to hear.

Slowly, she felt Maya nod once more and grin slowly spread across the Firehawk's face.


End file.
